being a mom and wife, being real, blended family, Christian, christmas memories, Empty nest, encouragement, family, Food, God, God's Plan, grateful, life, love, memories, mom life, slowing down, southern, sports, sports mom, teenagers

Slow Down

I know what you are all thinking…another blog post about how we are all supposed to slow down our lives and try to savor each moment.  Well you are right!!  I was sitting in a hospital waiting room the other night and this concept of slowing down kind of came to me.  I wrote my thoughts down at the time like I usually do but they never quite made it to this blog.  Anyway is this concept unattainable? For some I think it is.  Maybe for myself because my life is really not my own most days.  As a mom of four, mostly teenagers, I don’t usually dictate what my day is going to look like or even what my week is going to look like because it’s usually scheduled out for me.  Practices and games.  School functions and meetings.  Work outside the home and inside the home.  Deadlines and such.  We are all so busy as moms because our life is not our own and we just strive to get everyone where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there.  I will have to say for those mommas with littles it does slow down some when you have a new driver in the family.  But that poses a whole different set of stresses because you are worried sick that they are okay out there without you.  That they aren’t in a ditch somewhere with their car turned upside down.  Slow down you say??  Maybe for some of us that is only a fleeting thought as we hop in the car to take this one to practice and the other to a friend’s house only to make that same circle again in a few hours.  There are times that we do slow down and enjoy each other around the dinner table and there are seasons during the year where this is a regular thing.  But there are also seasons where it’s like our door is one of those revolving where one or two of us goes in while one or two others goes out and this lasts for weeks on end.  We travel in different directions for different activities and occasionally we all meet up at the same place at the same time.  For now I will take it because there is no chance of a slow down here with all the things to do and places to go to but eventually there will be a day that I wake up and there will be no one to take to their game or practice, no one to school or meetings.  They will have lives of their own and eventually they will be taking their own littles and bigs to things.  It’s all part of the circle of life even though sometimes that circle seems like the swirling of a toilet bowl or better yet a tornado.  I’ll just hang on for the tornado ride right now.  I have always heard that there a calm after the storm too.

 

 

being a mom and wife, being real, blended family, Christian, Empty nest, encouragement, family, God, God's Plan, grateful, life, love, memories, mom life, slowing down, southern, sports mom

They think we’re fishing

Lately I have seen a few posts from young parents and their little ones fishing with the same caption on all of them….”They think we’re fishing”.  I can relate to this everyday.  In other words, the kids think they are merely fishing but the parents know that this is way more than just fishing.  It’s time spent.  It’s a special time together that they will never get back.  It’s a time to cherish and to soak up every second with their sweet little ones.  It’s a time to hold them close and to talk to them.  It’s a time to teach them something like patience and sitting still.  It doesn’t have to be fishing at all.  It can be anything that you do with your child and yet they don’t realize how special it is to you.  They have no idea how much that you are going to miss this age they are in or the fact that they aren’t little anymore.  They don’t understand that you are holding on as tight as you can while at the same time giving them room to fly.  It’s never just “fishing”.  From a parent perspective it is always so much more.  When they are older and they look back on this time spent, whatever your activity is, they will realize that it was a special time.  When they look back on time spent with a loved one that has now gone to Heaven they will understand that it was much more than “fishing”.  It was a time to learn who you are and where you came from.  It was making memories that you didn’t even realize were memories until much later in life.  They will look back with a smile on their face and a far off look and recall those times with warmth and longing just like I do for those times with my loved ones that have gone on.

Don’t fault them for not savoring every last moment.  Don’t fault them for being “bored”.  But Momma and Daddy you savor every single moment.  You soak it all up.  Cherish even the rough times because they make the good times even better. And never ever take for granted the time you have with your little ones or your big ones.  This is a luxury that not everyone has and it could be one that may be taken away.  Make every moment count. Love big and Love hard. But always Remember…..

 

THEY THINK WE’RE FISHING

 

 

 

being a mom and wife, being real, Christian, Empty nest, encouragement, God's Plan, grateful, love, memories, slowing down

But That’s Not the Plan!!??

Lots of times we make big plans for ourselves.  We plan to do this and be that and go here and visit there.  BUT……God has a different idea.  He has a different plan all lined out for us and we have no idea which way it will take us.  We think we have it all figured out…you know graduate high school, 4 years of college, graduate college, get a job, get married, buy a house, buy a car, have a few kids.  You know the drill.  Yeah, It NEVER happens that way. Maybe for some it happens this way but I don’t know any of those people and I frankly I don’t want to.  I probably wouldn’t like them very much (just being real here).

Life is an adventure.  I’m sure that’s in the bible somewhere.  Maybe in not so many words or phrased differently.  But none the less it is definitely a roller coaster and sometimes you pee a little on those big upside down loops (forgive me…I have a 44 year old momma brain (and bladder) it’s just the way it is).

God and life have a way of turning your best laid plans upside down.  I’m here to say that it’s all gonna be okay.  Yeah, you are going to cry and laugh and yeah..pee a little. But He has got it all figured out even if you don’t.  It’s gonna suck eggs sometimes and sometimes that suck egg part lasts for a few years.  But then there is the aha moments.  Those moments that you sit there and realize that it’s all going to work out and God has placed you right where you are for a reason.  It’s those moments that you realize that it is all much bigger than yourself.  That your little world is actually much bigger than you thought and you are still a crucial part of it all.  He has work for you to do.  He has ideas for your life that you can never conceive in your tiny little human brain. It takes a while sometimes for your heart and head to catch up to God’s plan and then look back and realized that He was there all along.  He was in the weeds with you and He was in the sunshine too.  He was and is in it all.

I have lots of changes coming in my little world this year with kids leaving the nest and others being the only one left in the nest (as if he was not spoiled enough…don’t judge). We can never prepare ourselves for what the Lord has for us but we have to be open to all the many possibilities that He has for us.  Our lives can take a hairpin turn at any minutes both good and bad.  We have to trust that God has a plan in it all (easy when it’s good, harder when it’s bad) and follow His lead.  Pray for His will, no matter what that may look like and be willing to accept it when it doesn’t look quite like we expected.

Friends, God has our back whether we acknowledge it or not.  He is there and He is in control.  We just have to be open to Him and His plan.

(FYI…Please remind me that I wrote this later this year when my two girls leave the nest and I’m in the fetal position in the corner crying my eyes out.  Please remind me of this…I will need it)

being a mom and wife, being real, Christian, encouragement, God's Plan, grateful, love, memories, slowing down

Family is not always about Blood

Mr. Webster defines family as such

The first thing most of us think of when we hear the word family is those people related to us by blood or marriage. The people we live with. The people we grew up with in the same house. The crazy uncle or cousin that always wanted to pick at you at family gatherings. I know most of us have those and if you don’t you are truly missing out (not really).

But family can be so much more than blood and marriage and crazy relatives. Family can also be those friends that you still have after 40 years that you don’t see very often. You are both busy with life and kids and taking care of business that getting together and hanging out just isn’t a great option. But they are still your family because no matter how far apart you are geographically or no matter how much time it’s been since you saw each other or talked to each other you can pick up right where you left off and still talk about anything and everything. Still share your deepest secrets and fondest memories. They are your PEOPLE. Your family. These are the people whose family is your family because they love you like their own and you love them like your own “blood” family. You walk in their house and look in their fridge cause it’s like home. You never leave them without a hug and an “I love you” much like you do when you leave your own Momma’s house and they do the same when they come to your momma’s house. You know every room in their house and they know yours too. Even now, 40 years later, you could go there and see reminders of your childhood, reminders of yourself. A ceramic duck that she keeps in her room which was a birthday present that you got here forever ago and even though it was something you weren’t, at the time, excited about giving because you forgot to tell your mom about the party and it was the only thing in town that you could find last minute. But she always had it sitting in her room even years later when you both were Mommas of your own. Means the world.

This is Your People. And though I can’t say what the future holds I venture to guess that they will be in your heart and soul until your heart stops beating. ❤️

being a mom and wife, being real, Christian, christmas memories, encouragement, Food, grateful, love, memories, slowing down

Taste and Smell

It’s funny how the slightest scent can bring back such memories.  Taste and smell can recall feelings in your mind, heart and body that you have long forgotten.  Most of these involve food but some are just the smell of people and places and things that make you think of that certain someone.  Doublemint gum…I always think of my Pawpa.  He would always keep a pack in his pocket and give all us grandkids a piece.  He and my Granny didn’t have much at all but he always had that gum handy.  Safeguard Soap… (they have it in the Kroger restroom, just in case you needed to know) it makes me think of their little trailer that we all loved and piled into every Thanksgiving and Christmas when I was a little girl.  It was hot as thirty hells but we loved them and loved being there.  The smell of dressing. Oh my Granny’s dressing was the very best and we loved to “test” it to see if it needed anything else.  She always, always said it needed more sage. Makes me smile as I read this. Petunias…She grew these every year in every corner and spot on the front porch.  They were always beautiful and smelled and looked amazing.  Apricot Salad…Simple dish with cream cheese and apricot jello.  One of my Dad’s sisters would make it every year and in the same clear/opaque Tupperware brand dish.  Years and years…same dish in the same container.  Fried Chicken….My Granny would take a knife with a blade that wasn’t even two inches long with a plastic handle and cut us a whole chicken and fry it.  Now if there is ever a taste of heaven that was it.  I still wish that I had tried to learn her recipes years ago and how to cut up that dang chicken.  She never bought a package of thighs or legs. NEVER EVER was a package of boneless skinless chicken breast ever brought into that little trailer in the country.  AquaNet….My Granny had the typical old lady gray hair helmet.  I don’t ever remember her going to the hair salon but she always had a perm and when you hugged her all you could smell was her hairspray.  Some of the other favorite memories were the nutcrackers and bowl.  She had a bowl that looked like a hollowed out slice of a tree, bark and all on the outside and the inside was always full of nuts and a silver nutcracker.  Every Christmas that would be set out.  More traditional that the Christmas Tree

My grandparents had very little.  My Granny never had a drivers license and my Pawpa took her everywhere she needed to go.  They were happy even with a hard life.  They both worked hard.  He worked at the factory in town and he could fix anything you had mechanical that could break.  She could cook like a well studied chef and she could quilt and crochet anything that you could imagine.  She had a green thumb that I am thankful to have inherited a slight bit.  Everything she touched grew and prospered and she and my Pawpa always had such a beautiful garden.  She canned and froze food for the winter and that chicken trick deserves to be mentioned again.

I miss them all that time and I’m disappointed that my kids did not get the pleasure of meeting them and loving them like my cousins and I did.  They have both since passed on and their little place in the country is occupied by a different family.

Taste and Smells can bring back so many memories.  Savor them when they do.  Remember the people, places, food.. whatever those smells bring back take a minute to conjure up those memories and keep them close to you heart to tell to your grandkids.

 

 

being a mom and wife, being real, Christian, encouragement, grateful, love, slowing down

Enjoy the Ride

Y’all I’m in the car a lot. I drive an hour one way to work three days a week. Yep at least 6 hours in the car just to go to work.  That doesn’t even touch the time I’m in there driving the kids to school and back and practice and games.  You get the idea.  But here is the thing I have learned about being in the car so much. You have to ENJOY THE RIDE.  Everyone is so busy these days. Running here and there. Hustle and bustle.  Always on the go. But we have to remember to enjoy the ride.  I have teenagers now and if you know anything about teenagers you will know that they like to be left alone.  They spend a lot of time in their rooms and on their phones.  But the time that I am in the car with them. They are MINE. Almost like a hostage situation.  (kidding, not really) But it is a time that I can talk to them and ask them questions.  They are a captive audience, and well so am I.  They play their music (that’s where the hostage situation thing comes in, and you thought I was talking about them). So I get to listen to their music.  They tell me stories about their friends and what is going on at school or with their team.  I cherish these moments.. yes even the music, God forbid.  They are only going to be with me for a very short time and I am reminded of this daily.  I want to soak up as much as I can while I can.  On the other days when I’m in the car by myself I still ENJOY THE RIDE.  I look at the beautiful world that God has given us.  Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter.  We can always find beauty in nature.  I also use this “ride” to listen to encouraging words and music.  I have just recently discovered podcasts and I am addicted to them.  I listen to them everyday and when I exhaust all the ones that I subscribe to then I start listening to music.  I prefer contemporary Christian music but whatever calms you or lifts your spirits remember to enjoy the ride.  I know everyone is so busy like I said earlier and some are at different stages of life and the music is from the latest Disney movie.  Trust me is was just like two days ago that I was in that driver’s seat.  (it is perfectly normal to sing the song in the car long after your kids are dropped off at daycare…perfectly normal..scientifically proven, trust me on this one)  But also enjoy the ride because in two days you will have teenagers like mine and the songs change…THEY CHANGE A LOT!!

I also have a time that I drive my sweet 87 year old grandpa to the doctor.  No music…even though every time I get in his car he has XM radio blaring with Elvis Radio.  He is cool like that.  We drive about an hour to the doctor with no radio.  We talk and laugh and he tells stories and I tell stories.  I realize my time with him is short.  I try to soak up every single word. Every single smile. Every single laugh.  We ENJOY THE RIDE.

So I encourage each of you to ENJOY THE RIDE. Whatever that looks like for you, take my word for it.  It will change very soon.  ENJOY the RIDE in every season and aspect of your life.  It will be short lived but the memories that you have of the RIDE are PRICELESS.

 

being a mom and wife, being real, Christian, encouragement, grateful, love

Being vs. Doing

I was watching a video last night on Facebook and it had a very interesting message.  It had about five beautiful older ladies and they were basically talking about the concept of “if I knew then what I know now”.  The common theme with each of them was the following:  BEING vs. DOING.  This really got me thinking.  Are you doing the things you do or are you being who God wants you to be?  Are you doing all the things that society thinks or says you should do or are you being the person God has truly designed you to be?  Are you doing things or are you PRESENT and being the things? This wisdom is so good.  So many times we go through the motions of doing the things that make our lives look so wonderful on the outside that we forget to just be who we are.  We polish up the outside…clean the house, clean the kids, drive the cars, post the beautiful things that are going on in our lives that we forget to actual do the living. TO BE. It goes back to the saying about how at your funeral you really don’t want people to think of you as the lady with the clean house,  the lady with the clean kids.  You get what I’m saying?  We get caught up in what the world wants to see, expects to see and hear from us that we forget to actually enjoy the moments we live.  Enjoy the yuckness (that is a word, it has to be) because that’s what we all have.  SPOILER ALERT: Life is not all rainbows and sunshine and unicorns.  It’s tough sometimes and it is truly messy sometimes under all that polish no matter who you are and what you are going through.  We like to sugar coat it for everyone else.  We like to DO the right things to make everything seem just wonderful.  Wouldn’t it be a cool idea if we were just really honest and transparent?  If we stopped DOING and started BEING who we really were.  Let people see the mess.  You know, the mess you are but GOD still loves you.  The unorganized ball of craziness that you really are but GOD loves you right in the middle of it.  Don’t get me wrong there are times when I feel like I pretty much have all my ducks in a row.  Yeah it lasts about 8 minutes at the most.  Kind of like a bull ride.  If I can make it those 8 minutes I feel like a winner.  People need to know that it’s perfectly alright to not have it all together, to be a mess.  God loves us in all seasons.  He loves us best in our mess! (that totally needs to be a on a shirt!!) (I’m a t-shirt-with-cool-thought-provoking-sayings junkie) He does his best work when we are mess.  So I say BE instead of DO. It’s TRUTH. It’s FREEDOM. Be in the moment and love the life you live even if you haven’t polished it in a few days.

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknes.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

being a mom and wife, Christian, encouragement, grateful, love

Going Postal

I have never really understood that term.  Don’t get me wrong I know where is comes from but I just don’t have the same experience with “postal” as many do.  Growing up in my little bitty town my grandmother was the front window clerk at the post office.  She worked there for over 35 years.  She once filed her papers for retirement but then decided that she didn’t want to leave.  So my “postal” experience was much different.  My mom and grandpa would take me there to visit and I would sit on the high counter.  I really thought I was something special and the people there did too.  She was stamp my hand with “Fragile” or Special Delivery” in the bright red ink and everyone was sure to see how special I was.  My grandmother was known my so many in the town.  This was all before internet and email and on-line shopping and bill pay and such.  You went to the post office and you mailed your bills and picked up your mail.  She would always buy for the me the newest and neatest stamps that came out.  She always wore this rubber fingertip things on her thumb and forefinger.  I am only to assume that they help sift and shuffle the mail without the worry of a paper cut.  She was “postal” to me.

I have visited a few more post offices since she passed away and I still get the same feeling of nostalgia every single time, no matter what I’m there to do.  I have mail packages and picked up packages and bought stamps.  Every single time I am there and I have contact with the clerk I see my grandmother in them.  I see it in their smile. I see it in their continuous, no matter where I am, willingness to help.  They all have a smile on their faces and always greeting people and asking them about their families.  I see her in each one.  Just the other day I had to mail a package.  I went to a post office that I had never been before.  When I got to the counter the lady helping me had on those same rubber finger covers.  It hit me hard.  It was like she was right there with me.  I almost asked her if she would stamp my hand. (Kidding) But it did take me back and remind me so much of the lady that everyone adored in town.  I was always proud to tell someone that I was her granddaughter.

So every time I have to go the post office in whatever town I’m in I always remember that “going postal” is really so much different to me than the intended use. “Going Postal” is about stamps on the hand, about a little girl sitting on the high counter like a princess, about the rubber finger things, about new stamps, and about a grandmother that I loved and miss everyday.